differences & bond

"Multiples don't walk around in lockstep, 

talking in unison, 

thinking identical thoughts. 

The bond for normal twins, 

whether they are identical or fraternal, 

is based on how they, 

as individuals who are keenly aware of the differences between them,

 learn to relate to one another"

-Pamela Patrick Novotny

(author of The Joy of Twins)

I came across this quote tonight and loved it.  

(medically, we don't know for sure whether Crew & McKay are identical or fraternal... 

but, i'm pretty certain that they are fraternal... my boys are  fairly different looking.)  

It is so interesting to see how different Crew and McKay are becoming-- 

in their looks, personality, development & behavior.... 

but, also to see the bond that is forming between them.  

here is a typical playtime at our house...

McKay totally focused and content playing with legos 

(or figuring out how some other toy works), 

while Crew is about to jump off the top of their little slide 

(or is throwing the toys around that McKay is patiently trying to figure out).


i could list a bunch of other differences between these boys...
(red hair, blonde hair...
green eyes, blue eyes...
one needs a lot of sleep & one doesn't
etc)
and, i can already see that they are aware of these differences
and are learning to relate to one another.
thus, forming that twin bond.

- if Crew loses his binky (which he LOVES), 

McKay is the first one to pick it up and put it back in Crew's mouth
(McKay has never taken the binky)

-McKay is the slower mover (isn't walking yet, while Crew is), 

but Crew always turns around to see if his brother is coming along

-Crew often teasingly mimics McKay when he is whining

-they will often reach over to find the others hand while riding in my side-by-side stroller

-they always seem to be aware of where the other is and what he is doing.

-if one starts crying, 

often the other will too.

-they give each other the sweetest & messiest kisses....
lately whenever i ask either of them to give kisses to anyone,
they give them to each other instead.
(it is as if "kisses" are only for each other.  so cute!)

-they will often happily talk & giggle for an hour or more
before falling asleep at nap or bed time.
(usually Crew is exhausted, while McKay isn't...
but, they usually both talk to each other until they both fall asleep)

So, there is a definitely a sweet bond
forming between these two...
they are learning how to relate to one another
despite being very different little boys!

we feel so blessed 
(and often a bit stressed!) 
to have twins in our family!