video of Crew & McKay

check out this video 

that my cousin, Bryan Kenitzer, made of the twins.

we love it!

thanks Bryan!

(bummer that i hadn't (and still haven't) 
finished the boys nursery...
no pictures hung, etc.
oh well!  someday...)

bumps and run!

SANTA!

(caisa, mckay, crew, santa, adrian and beck)

Definitely not the best picture.

But, if you knew all the effort that went into this picture,

(getting 3 boys dressed and in the car.

getting them all in the stroller and into the mall despite the freezing cold weather.

braving the mall the week before christmas with 3 boys under 2.

no one spilling or spitting up on their outfits through dinner.

and, waiting in an hour long line way too late at night.)

you'd consider it a christmas miracle!

(that is the face beck now makes when someone says "smile".  go figure.)

crew & mckay (about 2.5 months)

mom of twins

my friend, alecia, showed this to me before i had my twins.

i thought it was funny then,

but it is even funnier to me now.

mom of twins video.

my night last night.

Adrian was out of town and, of course, last night was a painful one.



9 - bottles to twins (mckay vomited all over me)
9:30 - nurse mckay a little
10 - twins both asleep
10-12 - do dishes, laundry, etc.
12:30 - mckay bottle
12:50 - crew bottle
1 - twins asleep
1 - Beck wakes up
1-2 - try to comfort Beck, but finally leave him awake in his crib
2 - pump
2:10 - beck still awake.  figure he must be teething and give him medicine
2:30 - figure Beck is not going to settle down in his crib.  so, beck & mom lay on couch
2:45 - Beck and mom finally fall sleep
2:45-4 - sleep!
4 - bottles to twins.
4:45 - twins asleep
4:45 - I finally lay down to sleep in bed (leave Beck sleeping on couch)
4:45-6 - sleep!
6 - Beck up, bring him into my bed
7- everybody awake




ouch.  gladly they aren't all like that.  and, i've been keeping Beckley well medicated today, so hopefully tonight is better.  


why is it always crazier when you don't have anyone around to help?

quite possibly the craziest/hardest week(s) of my life?

still catching up on blogs for the last 2 months...


on, the morning of 9/27 i went to my OB appointment.  all was well.  had an NST (non stress test) and met with my doctor.  i was almost 34 weeks pregnant with twins. no contractions, not dilated.  my doctor scheduled a c-section for 10/27.


9/28 at 3:30 AM... awoken by my water breaking.  there are 2 things i wish i had taken a picture of before i left the house that morning.  first, my belly.  we don't really have any shots of my belly those last few weeks - bummer.  second, i wish we had taken a picture of what our house looked like when we left that morning.  you would die, i promise.  we were in the midst of having our entire house painted and of course the painters were WAY behind schedule and hadn't shown up to finish the job that day. (adrian had been up until 2AM trying to finish at least some of the job that the painters hadn't done.)  when we left, doors weren't on throughout a lot of the house & all the furniture on the first floor was in the middle of the room.  it was complete chaos.  (thankfully grandma and grandpa brown came to the rescue and put our house back together for the next 2 days!)


9/29 at about 9PM... the twins were born!  in a dramatic fashion, of course - but, i'll spare you too many details.  see some info here.  both were taken to the NICU.


10/1 at about 3PM... i am preparing to be discharged for the hospital and waiting for my mom (who had flown in the day before to help) and beckley to arrive at the hospital to see the twins and drive home with us.  i talked to my mom as she said they were preparing to leave and was realizing that a lot of time had passed.  i tried calling her a few times, she didn't answer.  finally i got a hold of her and she told me that beck had started falling down our stairs at home and she gone after him.  the paramedics were on the way to our house.  at this point, i knew that i would be leaving my little twins in the NICU that day and now i also knew that my son and my mom had fallen and both were hurt.  needless to say, there were many tears shed.  (there are tears now just thinking about that time.)  luckily, beckley ended up with only a few bumps and bruises.  the final result for my mom was not so lucky:  a bad break in her leg - requiring surgery with pins, screws & plates the following week. 

at some point within my first week home from the hospital, beckley finally started getting his molars (he was 19 months old and had only 6 teeth up until this point).  he was waking up numerous times at night and was just not himself - super grumpy and clingy.  not exactly ideal for a mom who has to wake up every 3 hours to pump and spends lots of her time 40 minutes away at the NICU.  beck definitely had a rough time those first couple weeks.  we all did, really.


thankfully i was able to have a VBAC.  the recovery was so much better than my c-section which made everything else that was going on a little easier.




things i will always remember from those first few weeks of the twins lives:  


numerous drives to the hospital (i actually somewhat enjoyed this time alone.  i would often wake up early around 6 to go see the babies in the NICU.  stopping at mcdonalds for breakfast on my way & driving in silence.  i guess i knew to treasure this silence because my life is definitely loud now.)


beck crying & yelling lots (breaks my heart to even think about it.  poor kid was jossled around so much.  he was often put to bed or a nap by one person and woken up by another.  i was away from beck more than i ever had been (well, aside from those 2 weeks i spent in greece!).)


my mom and beck "scouching" across the floor.  and, feeling so bad for my poor mom.  she had so willingly and graciously come to help us... and she ended up needing help.  which i know was so hard for her.  i often thought i don't know who i feel worse for - her (that she is hurt and can't help in the way she had wanted to and planned to) or me (that i was so looking forward to her help).  in the end, she was such a great help!  and, i wouldn't change a thing. 

pumping. pumping. pumping.


rocking beck to sleep and often letting him nap on me (something i hadn't done in months).  the poor little guy was a mess.

outings with my mom and beckley - we were quite a group!  (my mom on crutches, me recovering and crazy almost 2 year old Beck)  

feeling so torn - and feeling guilty.  i felt guilty if i was at the NICU, because i wasn't with beck.  i felt guilty when i was home with beck because i wasn't at the NICU with the twins.  i felt even more guilty if i was ever at home and beck wasn't... just felt like i should either be with the twins or beck at all times.  (definitely don't feel that strongly now - ha).  i felt just as guilty if i was ever anywhere but at home or the NICU - it felt so weird/wrong to be at the grocery store or church or where ever without the twins.


i know there is so much that i am leaving out.  but, i wanted to at least get some of this down.


oh, i am glad those days are behind me.  although, the current days are pretty challenging, i am so glad that i have all my boys in one place... and that place is home.    (too bad my mom isn't still here though!)

jealous much?

this is how i found beckley the other day...

you think this kid wants some attention?

(notice there are 2 binkies in his mouth)

i'm not going to lie...

or be all optimistic & superwoman-like...

"this" is hard.  way hard.

a good hard, but hard nonetheless.

there is a lot of this going on around here

tantrums,

tears, 

messes

exhaustion,

dirty diapers...

we got lots of those!

but, we are surviving.

and, everyone (including myself) keeps telling me 

that "it" will get easier.

geesh, i sure do hope so.

luckily, these boys are so dang cute!

crew

beck & mckay

it's friday... i'm in love!

after an anything but calm first week alone 

with these 3 little boys

(more to come about that)...

i am in LOVE with our calm Friday night

with our 3 sweet boys!

(mom - we're saving that pile of clean laundry for you to fold... we forgot how)

Beck kissing Crew

Crew and McKay snuggling with dad

chubby cheeks

McKay

(about 2 months old)

Crew

(about 2 months old)

we are absolutely lovin' these chubby cheeks!

super mimi!

how do you adequately repay or thank someone who...


left her home and life for 2 months to help you,
sacrificed her leg to save your son,
did endless loads of your laundry,
spent hours with you and your babies at the hospital,
was your sons constant playmate,
always let you shower first,
watched your 3 kids while you ran almost every day,
cleaned your house,
watched your 3 kids so you and your husband could go on dates,
could count on one hand who many times she slept through the night in the last 60 days,
did endless loads of your dishes,
taught your son a joke and lots more,
fed your babies bottles,
worked in your yard with a broken leg,
crawled up the stairs to make sure your son got his nap,
put up with lots of different moods,
"scooched" around the floor with your son,
let your son boss her around,
got up so that you could sleep,
bought your family lots of nice gifts,
made your toddler laugh,
made your babies smile,
watched Toy Story & Elf a million times,
mopped your floor with a broken leg,
often missed Dancing With the Stars and Modern Family,
built lots of lego towers,
bought you In-n-Out,
never once complained,
laid on the floor to play "ball" with your toddler,
held your babies for hours and hours,
changed way too many diapers,
lived out of a suitcase for 2 months,
always offered to get you a glass of water,
left her couch & bed,
watched your kids so you could go to church,
shared her Pepsi,
only took 2 days off,
left warm paradise for cold Utah,
cleaned up toys endlessly,
fed your son breakfast more often than you did,
read The Night Before Christmas as often as wanted,
was your babies second mom,
was your toddlers best friend,
was your lifesaver...


not sure there is anyway to adequately repay or thank such a person...


i'm just so glad, lucky, and blessed that she is my mom!


we will miss you mimi!!!!

hospital & NICU

This blog post is WAY past due...
and has A LOT of pictures...
but, I wanted to be sure we documented
the time we spent in the NICU
and how much the twins have already grown & developed.




the hospital...

(9/28 - 9/29/11)

the twins arrive about 9PM on 9/29...

Here are some of the first pictures of McKay (Baby A)

me meeting McKay for the first time

(it wasn't until early the next morning that i was able to see him)

holding McKay for the first time

And, here are some of the first pictures of Crew

I was actually able to hold Crew for a few seconds right after delivery

and initially he went to the well baby nursery,

but after a few hours he was transferred to the NICU.

This is what he looked like the next time I was able to see him

Here is a picture of McKay within his first 24 hours

He was a bit beat up.

(one side of his face was "droopy",

he had what looked to be like pretty bad torticollis,

and they suspected he might have some sort of an infection 

so he wasn't able to receive any milk for a few days)

Amazingly,

all of those concerns had disappeared within a few days.

Here are some pictures of Crew 

within those first 24 hours

here he still has the CPAP to help him breath

Beckley came to meet his brothers the day after they were born

showing off his "I'm a big brother" tatoo!

Within a few days,

both boys were breathing on their own...

Crew

McKay

notice how big the pacifier looks in comparison to our little guy

McKay

soooooo many cords!!!

Adrian and his dad gave the boys blessing one of their first few days

we tried to hold the boys as much as possible

both boys spent a good amount of time under the bili lights...

the boys slept most of their time in the NICU

Crew

McKay

They had to have their IV's constantly changed

because their tiny veins could only handle them for so long...

it was so sad to see them poked so often.

one of the best places to find veins was in their heads,

so they often had IV's in their heads - poor little guys.

some random pictures of the twins

while in the NICU

look at McKay's little hand holding onto that finger

Beckley was able to visit the NICU

twice a week for 15 minutes each time.

here he is scrubbing in for one of this visits

he also brought each of the twins a little doggy just like the one he has

here i am holding both boys for the first time

(technically the NICU didn't allow this,

but one of the nurses let me do it behind closed curtains)

we put some Y hats on the boys,

but the next time we came in,

this is what we found

Here the boys are in open cribs

(which means they were now able to keep the temperature on their own)

proud parents!

Our first family pictures

so many beeps from these monitors!

one day i asked a nurse what one of the beeps meant

and she told me not to worry about the beeping 

that the beeps were only for the nurses...

i told her that those were my boys and of course i was going to worry if i heard beeping!

(she wasn't my favorite nurse!)

i spent A LOT of time attempting to nurse these boys...

we had to scrub in each time we visited the twins

and had to use sanitizer on our hands in between touching each boy

i was pumping A LOT during those NICU days...

discharge day!

the nurses and doctors kept telling me

that it didn't happen often that twins would go home on the same day...

and, i kept telling them that it was going to happen for us...

and,  it did!

both the boys came home on 10/19.

they were in the NICU for about 3 weeks.

the twins weren't big enough for normal carseats yet

so they came home in these car beds

Beck was excited to have his brothers come home!

we were so happy to welcome these little guys home!