a mother's heart

Today as I sat in Sacrament Meeting trying to keep the twins asleep, Beckley quietly entertained and Adrian awake... I thought of when I had been asked to speak on Mother's day.  It was 4 years ago, I was single and not yet a mom.  My life was certainly different then. 


 As I left church, I noticed that friend had texted me saying that he had been thinking of when I spoke on Mother's Day and how much he enjoyed my talk.  


So, I figured I should probably re-read that talk today.  (I included the talk below... it is LONG though...)


Although I am now a mom, I am still working to develop that "mother heart"... I'm thinking it will be a forever process...   


I am now, as I was then, so grateful for the divine gift and mission of motherhood. 

Mother Heart

5.11.08 Mother’s Day

-Caisa Monahan

      

I take after my mom in a lot of ways.  I look just like her. I have her to blame for my migraines and shopping habit.  And, I would like to think that I am half as fun and happy to be around as she is.  I could go on and on, which in and of it self, is proof that I am my mother’s daughter.   Last Saturday I told Adrian that although I am a lot like my mom there is one thing that I really wish we had in common.  That I really wish I had my mom’s amazing ability and love of speaking.  Well the very next day Brother Ball asked me to speak on Mother’s Day.  The Lord is very aware of my weaknesses and desires and I welcome the opportunity, and any opportunity, to become more like my mom.

The first thing I did after Brother Ball asked me to speak was text my mom to tell her.  I guess texting is another thing I have in common with my mom.  My text said: “I have to speak on mother’s day.”  My mom’s response was a “lucky you” with a smiley face.  As I mentioned, speaking is not something that is easy for me.  Maybe I should not admit this, but since the days in primary when she whispered into my ear what to say, my mom has always helped to some degree write my talks.  However, I immediately realized that for the first time in my life I didn’t feel like I could ask my mom for help with my talk.  I just didn’t feel right asking my mom to help me with a talk about her.  I should have known that I didn’t need to ask my mom for her help.  Within 24 hours I received an email from my mom offering help for my talk.  She included the following quote by Julie Beck:

"A woman with a mother heart has a testimony of the restored gospel, and she teaches the principles of the gospel without equivocation. She is keeping sacred covenants made in holy temples. Her talents and skills are shared unselfishly. She gains as much education as her circumstances will allow, improving her mind and spirit with the desire to teach what she learns to the generations who follow her."

My mom then went on to say: 

Hi~I love this term "mother heart".  I don't know if you have started preparing for your talk but I thought of this when you said you had the wonderful opportunity to speak.(smiley face) I think one of the real purposes of women here on earth is to gain or find or search for and become a woman with a "mother heart. It is a gift to all women, in all circumstances from our Heavenly Father so that we can better understand and try to be like our Heavenly Mother.    Good luck I know you have a busy week. Love~Mom

My mom was, of course, aware of my fears, weaknesses and the details of my life and was there to help me.  In her simple email this week… and the numerous phone calls that followed throughout the week asking if I needed help with my talk… My mom shared her talents and skills with me unselfishly.  She has a testimony of the gospel and taught me the principles of the gospel.  She demonstrated her “mother heart” to me this week as she has done my entire life.

I, too, love this term “mother heart.”  Sister Beck said in this same talk (“Mother Heart”) that

“Every girl and woman who makes and keeps sacred covenants can have a mother heart.  There is not limit to what a woman with a mother heart can accomplish… By developing a mother heart, each girl and woman prepares for her divine, eternal mission of motherhood.”

 I am so grateful and honored to have this gift and eternal mission.  I hope that I may continually strive to develop a “mother heart” regardless of my circumstances in life. 

In the recent General Conference, Sister Tanner said:

“I take delight in my role as nurturer, which allows me to express my deepest identity as a woman.  I never fail to be struck by the way that women, young women, and even little girls seem to have an instinctive interest and ability in nurturing… To nurture is to teach, to foster development, to promote growth, to feed, and to nourish.  Who would not shout for joy at being given such a blessed role?”

I not only shout for joy for being given such a blessed role, but also for those in my life who have played such a role.  I am thankful for my mom, and many others, who have developed a “mother heart” and thus have nurtured me.  I think it is important for us all to strive to develop a “mother heart” and thus help and nurture those around us.

I am sure we can all think of various people who have shared and nurtured us with their “mother hearts” through out our lives.  This week as I thought about my gift and mission to have a “mother heart”, there were many things that came to mind that I could learn from those “mother hearts” who have nurtured my life.  2 things in particular came to my mind...

First, is my mom’s “spiritual coolness.”  My brother’s senior year in high school he was asked to speak at stake conference.  The topic the stake president gave him was “How learning the gospel at my home has taught me to be spiritually cool.”  I remember my brother calling me after hearing this topic and asking “what is “spiritually cool””?  We both laughed about it for a minute, but it didn’t take us long to come to the conclusion that my mom is spiritually cool.  As my brother said in that talk:

 “I’ve never had a problem that wouldn’t be solved quickly and efficiently if I had listened to my mother’s advice.  She will always provide me and my sisters with a scripture and then she will explain it in such real terms.  She has a funny but effective way of looking at things.” 

For those of you who know my mom, you know exactly what he means.  My mom has an amazing ability to apply the gospel to life.  Whenever I call with her a problem… whether it be about work, or a boy, or a race in college… she always says something like “first go get some chocolate.  Everything seems better after some chocolate.” Or “first go buy a new outfit. That will make you happier.”  Then she immediately has a scripture or gospel principle that solves my problem or brings me peace in the situation.  She is constantly learning and studying the gospel and then looking for ways to apply the gospel to life.  She is thus able to constantly teach those around her the gospel in a fun and real way.  Many of my friends and my sibling’s friends turn to my mom for advice for this reason.   

I had the wonderful opportunity to grow up with my mom in the church.  My mom converted right before she and my dad got married.  Her first time in primary was as Primary President while I was in primary.  When I was in Young Women’s, it was her first time in Young Women’s as the YW President.  She went to Seminary for the first time as the Seminary Teacher while I was in seminary.  She was Relief Society President when I joined Relief Society.  We literally grew up in the church together.  She did not just teach me the various values and principles of the gospel, rather I watched as she learned and gained a testimony of the gospel and then demonstrated that to me.  In all of her various callings and as she teaches those her around she does so with that “spiritual coolness.”  She teaches the gospel in a very fun and effective way.  Her current calling is “Mrs. Friendly” in Primary.  She goes into Primary and teaches the kids different lessons from the Friend magazine and tries to get them excited to read it.  She of course does this in a fun way.  As she enters the Primary room she transitions into “Mrs. Friendly”… putting on a bright colorful sign that says her name and big rhinestone glasses.    The kids love it.  In honor of my mom today and her “spiritual coolness”, Mrs Friendly will help me give me the some of my talk today.

(Kathleen H. Hughes in a talk from the Ensign Nov.2006 says "Our children need to hear us 'talk of Christ,...rejoice in Christ, {and} preach of Christ (2Nephi 25:26) so that they may know to what source they can look for the peace that 'passeth all understanding' (Philippians 4:7))       I would hope that as I teach the gospel to those around me, whether that be my nonmembers friends, fellow ward members, or my family, I hope that I may do so with “spiritual coolness.”  I hope that I may constantly learn and study, so that I might be able to apply the gospel to life, and do so in a fun way.  I know that “spiritual coolness” will help me to develop my mother heart and thus I will be able to nurture those around me.

The second thing that I recognized in those “mother hearts” that have nurtured my life and that I would like to emulate is the power of praying for one another.   I know that I probably do not realize how many times my mother has said a prayer in my behalf.   Nor can I comprehend how powerful these prayers have been in my life.”

But, I do know that I am a better person because of the prayers of my mother.  And, I know that I am a better person because of many people in my life who have developed “mother’s hearts” and have prayed in my behalf. 

My mom is also a fantastic example of this.  I will try to make this long story short… but, I am my mother’s daughter and it is completely impossible for my mom to make any story short.

 My brother’s best friend and mission companion and sort of my mom’s second son got married a couple days before this past Thanksgiving.  2 weeks later he was diagnosed with bone cancer.  He is 22 and his wife is 20.  I will never forget the phone calls from my brother and my mom when they heard that Hedlund was sick.  He has been getting chemo every week since then.  My mom decided that if Hedlund was going to chemo every week that she could go to the temple every week on his behalf. 

A few weeks ago as she sat in the temple and prayed for Hedlund she got what she calls a “crazy idea” that she needed to get Elder Bednar to visit Hedlund.  My brother and Hedlund worship Elder Bednar.  On their mission they memorized his talks and it has always been their dream to meet him.  My mom prayed that she would be able to make this crazy idea happen. 

She emailed a family friend that works for the church and told him about Hedlund and how he loved Elder Bednar.  The family friend said that when he got the email his heart sunk because he so wanted to be able to help my mom, but that he knew that he would probably not be able to.  He replied to my mom and said that he had a meeting that week that Bednar might attend and that if he had the opportunity to talk to him he would try to mention Hedlund.  My mom continued to pray that it would happen.  As our family friend entered that meeting he had my mom’s email in his pocket but did not at all think he would have the courage or dare to ask such a thing of Bednar.  Elder Bednar walked into the room came right up to our family friend and said “Hello.  Is there anything I can do for you?”  The friend reached into his pocket and pulled out the email.  He handed it to Bednar and told him a little about Hedlund.  Elder Bednar immediately said “I’d love to go visit him”. 

Hours before Hedlund went into a surgery to remove the cancer from his leg, he was contacted by Elder Bednar and told that he would get to visit with him later that week.  His wife said that as they took Hedlund, who had been dreading the surgery, into the operating room he had the biggest smile she had ever seen on his face.  Within a week of my mom’s prayer in the temple, Elder Bednar, along with my brother, gave Hedlund and his wife blessings.  A few days after that Hedlund received news from his doctor that the cancer in his leg was gone and that the cancer in his lungs was improving.  Hedlund called my mom and told her that “Elder Bednar was the highlight of his cancer.”  The prayers of someone with a “mother’s heart” are miraculous.  There is no limit to what a woman with a mother heart can accomplish.

I am so grateful for those “mothers hearts” that are mindful of those in need of prayers.  I worry that because I do not have kids of my own that I spend too much time praying for myself and not enough time for praying for others.  As it reads in Alma 34: 27 “Let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare and also for the welfare of those around you.” I hope that I may pray more for others and that in doing so I may nurture their lives and develop my “mother heart.”

I am so grateful for those in my life who have developed a “mother heart” and thus nurtured me.  I am honored and shout for joy to have this gift and eternal mission.  I know that being “spiritually cool” as I strive to teach and share the gospel and praying for others are just 2 ways that I can work to develop my “mother heart” right now.  I hope that I may continually strive to develop a “mother heart” regardless of my circumstances in life. 

Elder Hinckley said that “God planted within women something divine.  The something is a gift and the gifts of motherhood.” Although I am not yet a mom I hope that I may always recognize and be grateful for this divine gift.  Sheri Dew said in her talk entitled Are We Not All Mothers?:

“For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children.  This delay is not easy for any righteous woman.  But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature.  Some of us then, must simply find other ways to mother.  And all around us are those who need to be loved and led.”

In preparing for this talk I came across a paper I wrote for a leadership class my senior year at BYU.  In the paper I wrote:

“When I think of my dream role as a leader in the future, I do not see—Caisa the boss, Caisa the President, Caisa the Primary teacher, or Caisa the coach. Although I may assume some of those leadership roles, my dream role is that of—Caisa the mom.”

Although, this is literally still a dream role, I know that I can have a “mother heart” and help nurture and love those around me right now and throughout my life.  I would like to share a personal experience that reiterated this to me. 

My brother is 7 years younger than me but we have always been super close.  I love that kid.  Years ago I started playing this "show me on your face" game with him.  I will say "show me on your face how excited you are" or "show me on your face how tired/hungry/whatever you are." 

When Drew left on his mission, I knew that if I didn't get married while he was gone that he would beat me to it.  He had dated Joy before his mission and hoped to marry her when he returned.  I worried that it might be a difficult day to see my little brother get married before me.  I guess it was just something I wanted so badly for myself.  Drew returned from his mission and proposed to Joy.  Life was so busy and I so adore Joy that I didn't really even have time to worry about that day as it approached.  However, the morning of the wedding, I woke up early to get in a run before the ceremony.  As I ran, I got a little teary thinking that "the day" had come. 

Later that morning, I made sure to get the seat right next to my mom in the sealing room.  I wanted to be right next to my mom.  As the sealing was about to begin, all of sudden, I realized that of all the moments I wanted to be sure I saw how Drew felt on his face, this was the moment.  I looked to my mom and told her this and she immediately asked what side Drew would be kneeling on and then created somewhat of a commotion as she helped me find spot that would give me the perfect view of my brother’s face.  As I sat there in the sealing room, I was able to see how Drew felt on his face.  I saw how much he loved Joy, how happy he was, and how excited he was to spend eternity with her. 

What I did not realize was that in moving to the other side of the room, I was also able to see my mom’s face.   I saw how she felt on her face.  I saw on her face “a woman with a mother heart who had a testimony of the restored gospel, and taught the principles of the gospel without equivocation.  A woman who kept sacred covenants made in holy temples.  I saw a woman who shared her talents unselfishly.  A woman who had a desire to teach what she learns to the generations who follow her.” 

As I sat in the temple that day, I saw on my mom’s face and felt in my heart, more peace, hope, and faith than I ever have in my life.  I knew that I had a divine gift and purpose on this earth to become a woman with a “mother heart”.  A moment that I so feared might be difficult and try my faith did just the opposite.  That is a moment I will remember and cherish always.

As I mentioned, because I am my mother’s daughter I get migraines just like her.  I had a busy week and so I ended up being out all day yesterday with a migraine… therefore, I was working on this talk late last until early this morning.  My mom of course called numerous times to check on me.  I emailed her my talk early this morning to read and because I was worried that I had not included enough scriptures.  My mom wrote back:

It is FABULOUS.  Who is that woman??????????????????  You have quoted Pres. Hinckley...that is scripture.  Buy a new outfit (which luckily, I had already done) or eat some chocolate… say your prayers and go to bed.  Thanks for the wonderful words.  I love you~Mom 

I love my mom.  I am so grateful for this gospel and for the divine gift and mission of motherhood.  I am so grateful for my amazing parents and the love that they continually show me.  I often think that I am accomplished and confident because of my dad, but I am me because of my mom.  I love them both.